I’ve been in the wrong place my entire life. I was born in the wrong place. I don’t feel like I’ve ever belonged here. And then I see people in other more stable countries and see how they function on a day to day basis and I realize more and more that I’m just not cut out to live where I currently live. Here, you gotta have strings in every single government agency, ministry, whatever, in order to survive… cuz everyone tries to fuck you over a million different ways, so you gotta watch your back all the time. I’m just not designed like that. It’s like someone did a lobotomy on my brain when I was born an threw that EQ part of it in some dumpster. I’m socially friendly and I love hanging out with people, but when it comes to seing red flags or signs that something bad might happen, I’m just… a complete dummy. Years of hanging out with all sorts of people have corrected this side of me, up to a point, but it’s still not good enough. I really feel like I was just born without that gift, unfortunatelly, a gift that so many people rely on (at least around here, street smart is the way to go here, otherwise you’re fucked). And I’m just tired… just tired of endlessly lagging behind everyone esle around here. I’m not stupid, I know I’m not, but being smart has nothing to do with being street smart… unfortunatelly.
That being said, I beat myself over for years why sometimes so simple social concepts or warnings escape me, but are so blaintly obvious to everyone else. But, I stopped doing that. I just set different goals for myself. I am obviously born in the wrong place and my brain is just not wired to think like people do around here. I have tried, I really have, but I feel like I’m always miles away behind everyone else. I currently can’t leave this place, my wife doesn’t want to leave, and we have a son, so it’s not an option right now. But as soon as the kid is a bit grown, I am definitely out of here.
And the fucking heat… can’t fucking stand the heat 😭… every fucking summer, every god damn summer, it’s the same story, over and over, 45C on a good day 😭. We didn’t even have snow this winter, it barely went below 10C.
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I’ve been in the wrong place my entire life. I was born in the wrong place. I don’t feel like I’ve ever belonged here. And then I see people in other more stable countries and see how they function on a day to day basis and I realize more and more that I’m just not cut out to live where I currently live. Here, you gotta have strings in every single government agency, ministry, whatever, in order to survive… cuz everyone tries to fuck you over a million different ways, so you gotta watch your back all the time. I’m just not designed like that. It’s like someone did a lobotomy on my brain when I was born an threw that EQ part of it in some dumpster. I’m socially friendly and I love hanging out with people, but when it comes to seing red flags or signs that something bad might happen, I’m just… a complete dummy. Years of hanging out with all sorts of people have corrected this side of me, up to a point, but it’s still not good enough. I really feel like I was just born without that gift, unfortunatelly, a gift that so many people rely on (at least around here, street smart is the way to go here, otherwise you’re fucked). And I’m just tired… just tired of endlessly lagging behind everyone esle around here. I’m not stupid, I know I’m not, but being smart has nothing to do with being street smart… unfortunatelly.
That being said, I beat myself over for years why sometimes so simple social concepts or warnings escape me, but are so blaintly obvious to everyone else. But, I stopped doing that. I just set different goals for myself. I am obviously born in the wrong place and my brain is just not wired to think like people do around here. I have tried, I really have, but I feel like I’m always miles away behind everyone else. I currently can’t leave this place, my wife doesn’t want to leave, and we have a son, so it’s not an option right now. But as soon as the kid is a bit grown, I am definitely out of here.
And the fucking heat… can’t fucking stand the heat 😭… every fucking summer, every god damn summer, it’s the same story, over and over, 45C on a good day 😭. We didn’t even have snow this winter, it barely went below 10C.