I feel like I give help easily but I don’t feel ok asking. How do you become ok with asking for help? I have no idea what conversations that include this even sound like. In my mind I come across as begging and losing connection with the person or people I ask. How can I think about this differently?

Edit: a little more context, although this applies generally I think. I recently got surgery. I have enough help at home to get by, but it would be nice I suppose if a friend wanted to help out in some way too while I recover. I’m not exactly sure what kind of help that would entail, maybe cleaning or cooking or even just visiting. But I struggle with asking for help in even “normal” circumstances, like moving, or a major project, or even just emotional support.

  • itsyourmom@artemis.camp
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    1 year ago

    I have struggled my whole life to ask for help. I’ve always been afraid of inconveniencing the helper, or getting judged about why I don’t know how to do something. I have a fierce independent streak, and have trust issues… what if I ask and then it’s used against me later?

    After I quit drinking, and went to AA, and got a sponsor… I’ve been gradually retraining my brain that it’s okay to reach out and not stay silently struggling (I am told it increases my risk of relapsing). I’ve also always helped when I can to anyone who has asked…

    As other commentators have said, without the ask for help, I wouldn’t know it was needed… and wouldn’t want to assume anything…