“Do you mind …” has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It’s hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.

“Do you mind if I take that seat”

“No” “Yeah” depending on tone can both mean, “I’m fine with you taking that seat”. Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, “Yeah, go ahead” but not always. Absolutely crazy.

Honestly I like your way better. Makes the ticket easier to hand off. Pocketing that for later.

What I used to do was make notes at the end of the day. Just a couple short bullet points to say at standup and help me get back on track a little faster the next morning.

Hey I can answer that 100% truthfully. I don’t know :)

YES. Main characters don’t have chemistry and a romance adds nothing? Let them be, it doesn’t have to be forced.

I love it when movies show deep friendships between men/women that don’t inevitably become a romance. Not every situation is Harry met Sally and it’s okay to have fulfilling, close relationships with people in your romantic orientation.

Best: Get to solve logic problems, create, and learn. Somehow get paid for this.

Worst: Interviewing between jobs requires a different set of skills than the everyday work.

Source: Unemployed software engineer.

Is your condition stable, slowly worsening, or critical?

Before you do anything, talk to your doctor. They might be able to recommend a specialist in-state or closer than NY. They may even be able to work with a doctor in another hospital. If you want to go to NY, talk to the hospital directly (not through your cousin) and buy the ticket as close as possible. Unless your condition is severe and worsening, they may not be able to take you in immediately. Look at the hospital online and see if they have telemedicine services. You might be able to make an appointment through that.

Lastly, for the incoming medical bills my advice is this:

• See if you qualify for financial aid through the hospital.
• Get an itemized bill and ask if there’s anything that can be reduced.
• Get the lowest payment plan that you can. Never miss a payment. After some time you might be able to pay it off a reduced bill or it may even be forgiven.

Edit: Also, NTA as many people have said. Best of luck, friend.

The toll of core life events. Having a child, taking care of elderly grandparents/parents. I thought it would be easier. Not easy but “he’s not heavy; he’s my brother” kind of easier. Maybe it’s me, but it feels like I’m constantly running on empty. Caregiver burnout is a real beast.

They wouldn’t change the requirements. We see it now. When a company can’t find “qualified” candidates, they outsource it to international contractors.

This only works if the product isn’t in demand. Degrees are in high demand - jobs require them, better jobs require multiple and higher prestige degrees. That isn’t going to change.

Instead those rich enough would still get a degree, but middle and lower classes would be cut out. In the end it would create a wider gap between the classes.

Maybe !goodoffmychest@lemmy.world or a text post on !wtf@lemmy.world

Exactly. If you can smell it, then there’s molecules in the air and that’s going to mean it’s also on the food. It’s completely insignificant though. Eating next to a dumpster doesn’t mean my food’s contaminated even though technically those same molecules that I’m smelling are getting on the food.

Living a life well-lived vs feeling like you’ve lived a life well-lived are two different things. The first… be a good person, treat others and yourself with kindness, try to leave the world a little better than it would have been without you.

Feeling like you’ve lived a life well-lived though, that’s different for everyone. In the Sims games there are Lifetime Wishes. One wish to accomplish over that Sim’s entire life. I think real life is similar - everyone has a lifetime wish that once accomplished will fill a hole and help them be more at peace with dying. I got lucky, mine was easy. I wanted to help someone in a way that positively impacted the rest of their life. When I discovered that I had accidentally done that for a friend, the effect was amazing. I felt spiritually whole and like I was done doing what I was put on this earth for. I’m not religious, btw. I’m still living so I’m going to keep doing my best… but now I feel like my life has been well lived.

I don’t think the answer is so clear for everyone. My spouse doesn’t know their “lifetime wish”. Maybe it’ll be revealed with time or maybe they’ll never consciously know. I don’t think it’s something you get to choose, either. If you ask yourself what’s the one thing you absolutely need to do to be at peace before you die then you may figure it out eventually.

One technique to become lucid in dreams is to look at your hands. Hands usually look a bit off - think AI hands. Then you can do whatever you want. In theory if you make it a habit to look at your hands during the day, you’ll do it while dreaming too.

Two things your restaurant might be doing that you don’t at home:

• Spritzing a little lemon on the avocado to keep it looking fresh.
• Salt.

Maybe these will make a difference for you.

• Participate. Comment, post, mod, support the software, make tools to help new users, donate to instance providers, write blog posts, review apps, whatever you’re interested in and can do. Don’t force yourself too hard cause this is still supposed to be fun and nobody benefits from burnout.
• BE KIND. The more of a wholesome, open community we can create, the better. Don’t feed the trolls. Report and move on.
• If you’re on other social media, maybe include a link to lemmy somewhere. Cross post lemmy posts, that kind of thing. PR never hurts. Try to stay away from “Lemmy army” kind of posts cause that usually pushes people away more than inviting them in.

All this being said, I’m not sure Lemmy is new-user friendly enough to expand quickly right now. I want my technology illiterate grandma to be able to sign up and use it without help. It’s been amazing to join and be a part of this community. Like a lot of others I came here after Reddit API changes and I’ve loved seeing Lemmy grow.

America. Ideally you have insurance through work. Going to your PCP may be ~$50, same for specialists. Urgent care and ER will be higher, then there will be additional bills depending on what needs to be done and your insurance. Then there’s “in-network” and “out-of-network”. In-network will be covered more by insurance than out-of-network. It’s tricky for hospital stays. In my area there are doctors who are out-of-network working at in-network hospitals. So you will get 2 separate bills - one from the hospital and one from the doctor.

Honestly it’s terrifying having an emergency because you really don’t know how much it could cost. Most insurance plans have a max out of pocket. One number for the individual, one for the family. The lowest I’ve seen is $2k/$6k while the highest was ~$16k/30k. I’m in a LCOL city though. Max or of pocket is the maximum you should ever have to pay for a single year. You will almost definitely hit this if you have a baby or need more than a couple days in a hospital.

For people with low income there are sometimes assistance programs at hospitals. One common outcome is you go into a payment plan and maybe years later your remaining debt is forgiven. The payment plans can be very cheap. I’ve heard of $25/mo. Still it’s probably for a bill that’s in the thousands if not 5 or 6 digits.

If you don’t have insurance through work you can buy your own insurance but many people just wing it. Most hospitals will charge less when there is no insurance to bill. Maybe 1/3 what they would charge insurance. This will still be in the 4-6 digit range. So you go into a payment plan, or maybe there’s additional financial assistance from the hospital, or you just ignore the bill and take the credit hit when it goes to collections.

There are programs through the government, Medicare and Medicaid. They cover quite a lot but if you’re under 65 then I believe you have to be disabled to qualify.

The quality of care is generally high though, so that’s cool.

Do you mind ELI5 what exercising valves means? Is it just opening and closing?