This isn’t meant to be a negative post. I wanted to tweak how I handle some things and have gotten better but I it made me think.
Could you turn someone 360 completely? Like from a freak to a mighty, a chad to a chud, a person to a stealers fan?
You certainly can change your personality. It takes a long time and effort. That being said if you want to change your personality you shouldn’t take a 360 turn
Are you aware, that 360 is a full circle? Opposite would be 180.
Lol my bad
Not if you moonwalk.
Oh man, why do you have to bring up the reason why NASA assassinated Michael?
Yeah, on a more serious note there are effective treatments for personality disorders, most notably DBT.
Also we’re all growing and changing all the time. I was once an awkward and unpleasant prude, these days I’m anything but. The thing about personality growth is it’ll happen whether you want them to or not unless you’re stagnating (also bad).
You just act the way you want to act, and keep doing it until it’s who you are. A Vonnegut quote I love is “we are who we pretend to be.” I pretended to be socially confident and it turned out to not be hard after some practice. I pretended to be cool with stuff that I didn’t like made me irrationally uncomfortable and wouldn’t you know I got comfortable around it. Pretend to be nice and wouldn’t you know it eventually becomes second nature.
And yeah it can go worse. Shut yourself off from new experiences and the outside gets scarier. Spend time with bigots and you may find yourself agreeing with them. Move to Pittsburgh and not only will you risk enjoying their football you may even dump your fries on your sandwich even when you’re in the civilized world.
Choose your actions carefully, you risk letting them determine who you become. It’s a lot easier to justify your behavior than to change your habits and instincts.
Yes. Mine changed because I changed it. I had BPD my entire life. My providers are certain I was born with it. I’ve always only ever known extremes and unstable relationships, until now- after a year of intense DBT treatment. I have changed my personality, my entire perspective on life, so yes. I hope the OP sees this. (I’m also bragging a bit, it only took a year to recover from a disorder I unknowingly had my entire life once diagnosed and was informed.) You have to rewire your entire fucking brain, but you can.
How much did that DBT cost you? It’s a pretty big undertaking right?
So, with my therapist’s guidance, I was able to do my own after she picked out things I specifically needed to work on. I ordered a DBT spiral workbook and learned from there, I can now apply these skills daily. It’s saved my relationships and life. And yes, you have to re-wire basically your entire brain and world view. I was able to get it done in about a year.
It’s possible to change your personality. Most people have several. You probably don’t act the same way towards your best friend as you do towards your boss or towards a random stranger. Sales people change their personalities to match the person they’re trying to sell to.
If you’re talking about changing lifestyles and habits, that’s absolutely possible too. It just takes a lot of determination and repetition.
It’s even possible to turn 360 degrees and walk in a different direction (as long as it’s a moon walk)
Dated a salesman, can confirm. They’re crazy.
Yes you can. What helped me was to keep asking myself, “what kind of person do I want to be?”
That internal mantra guided me to make different choices to become a different person, a better one, generally. And it’s not even big decisions/choices. It was a lot of little things that I did differently, but consistently.
I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s a process. I had to keep constant, that question, in my mind. Like others have said, habits are hard to break, so it will take some persistence.
Good luck.
Wouldn’t it be 180?
Yes it would.
But 360 is easier to accomplish
Semantics. 360 is back to start.
But yes.
I was a social outcast introvert, and people used to assume I’d be some Columbine kid. Now I speak in front of huge crowds in my company, and manage a engineering department.
One of my staff member was in the Olympics. Now they’re doing tech work. Another was homeless. Another was a “mom who dropped out of high school”. And another used to work at Little Caesars. All of them are engineers doing kick ass work. And you would never know their history.
You are your actions.
Semantics, but OP never said the unit of measure. It could be radians for all you know.
could be radians
That’s a reach. 360 (degree) spin is a common enough “could care less” type expression. There’s no way OP meant “spin 57 times, then turn a little more than one quarter more.”
My family hurt my feelings, so I went from class clown to silent observer. I intended to only modify my behavior around them, but it started to spill into other areas of my life. Now I’m a very quiet person.
I mean, in the late 2000s I was kind of a shitty person. But in like 2014 I realized I was a piece of shit and started to work on myself.
I stopped basing my personality on how many girls I could land and started just focusing on myself and not on relationships. I spent 2 years guiding myself to a much better place, and then in 2016 I met my current fiance.
After all that growth - you’re still focusing on how you landed a girl /s
Congrats and good luck in your future marriage!
My belief is yes and no. Like many biological things it’s both nurture and nature.
Many people think that the way they act is their “personality”, when it seems more accurate that they have feelings/urges/likes/dislikes that manifest in a certain way and don’t know any other way to act.
And because they might not have known a “them” where they were able to channel those urges in another direction (because they’re young, or never tried, or have never seen an example at home to follow because their family is shitty or out of control) they think that manifestation IS their personality and is completely out of their control. Which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because if you think something can never change you won’t even try, and then it CERTAINLY won’t change.
Changing how your own urges manifest is within your power. It’s not always easy, but it is within your power. (Mental illnesses do make it harder, as mental illness often messes with things like emotional control or executive function, both of which are helpful to have when changing how you react to things. But I have known people with mental illnesses who made an effort to try, and those who did not, and even then there’s a difference when it comes to actually “trying”, and even with mental illness those who try and learn and grow get further than those who do not…although it does not magically “cure” the illness.)
Basically, it’s possible to skill up when it comes to self-awareness, emotional control, and even understanding what is and isn’t a threat, and all those things change how various aspects of your personality manifest in the real world.
But, beneath that, there are “the big five” personality traits that seem “real” to the extent that science pursuing investigation into them. Those are:
* Openness to experience (includes aspects such as intellectual curiosity and creative imagination) * Conscientiousness (organization, productiveness, responsibility) * Extroversion (sociability, assertiveness; its opposite is Introversion) * Agreeableness (compassion, respectfulness, trust in others) * Neuroticism (tendencies toward anxiety and depression)( https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/big-5-personality-traits )
People who are interested in and have the drive towards self-improvement can gain and practice skills that help them redirect behavior and urges within themselves that they don’t like. For example, maybe someone who gets angry really easily starts to recognize when they’re feeling like that, and instead of shouting at others and ruining relationships, they go out running and get some exercise. Or, the reverse–someone who never stands up for themselves learns to.
I don’t think it’ll eradicate some tendency towards certain personality traits–but it can bring them under control so you stop holding yourself back due to it.
I have a friend, and he and I have made opposite journeys when it comes to anger. He’s had to learn how to channel it back, tone it down. I’ve had to learn that my anger is “okay” to express sometimes. We were opposite ends of the spectrum and have each made progress more towards the center. We still default back to what seems our “inborn personality”, but we also have a lot of times when we act different ways because we’ve chosen to and have better control over ourselves. And when you do that all the time? Well, it’s a pattern, and it’s “you” just as much as anything is.
I’m generally soft-spoken IRL, and quiet, and a loner. But I’m also a writer, and because I wanted to progress in that Craft, I learned to write and “speak” with authority, because a writer who quivers and wrings their hands every other sentence and seems to lack confidence isn’t going to be interesting or compelling to read.
This is not a natural talent of mine–but I worked on it. And I worked. And I worked. And I did eventually gain skill in “sounding” confident in myself–to the extent it sometimes causes trouble because people expect one thing when they’ve read my writing, but get someone who is much quieter and much less talkative in person. Obviously, I have not put the same work into my in-person speech, and have not worked on dispelling my wallflower status there, but having seen how things turned around for me in writing because I kept trying, I imagine I could turn it around in person if I wanted to.
…IF I wanted to.
“Wanting” to change is probably the biggest thing when it comes to self-improvement. If you don’t like who you are and want to change it, it’s really important to cultivate that desire, because that DESIRE to change is the thing that keeps you going through the hard, frustrating parts of changing and gaining skills in self-understanding and self-control.
Autistics deeply masking entered the chat.
Maybe don’t do this though
I was always told this story with ending that he became a monster after starting life mild mannered. The actual accounts conflict each other depending who was being asked about him… I can’t imagine having half the prefrontal cortex blasted out leaves you with better judgement though?
Anatoli Bugorski is another case worth a look. No personality change though.
Woah, good that he survived and it’s impressive he continued to work in the field afterwards
As a researcher at the Institute for High Energy Physics in Protvino, Russian SSR, Anatoli Bugorski worked with the largest particle accelerator in the Soviet Union, the U-70 synchrotron. On 13 July 1978, Bugorski was checking a malfunctioning piece of equipment when the safety mechanisms failed. Bugorski was leaning over the equipment when he stuck his head in the path of the 76 GeV proton beam. Reportedly, he saw a flash “brighter than a thousand suns” but did not feel any pain. The beam passed through the back of his head, the occipital and temporal lobes of his brain, the left middle ear, and out through the left hand side of his nose. The exposed parts of his head received a local dose of 200,000 to 300,000 roentgens (2,000 to 3,000 Sieverts). Bugorski understood the severity of what had happened, but continued working on the malfunctioning equipment, and initially opted not to tell anyone what had happened.
Well, I suppose if he wasn’t traumatised he would have subsequently been extremely careful in the lab ;)
I believe you can! To change honestly is an epic task, you need willpower & foremost the characteristic of self reflection, self observation from the most possible objective perspective (I know, complete objectivity not achievable), and you need a person you can trust to get another point of view imo, but at the end of the day you need only one thing: the honest, straight and truthful will to change. I’ve seen people turn 180°. That’s what life is for imo.
It’s a slow and difficult process, but yes. There are certain personality disorders that can be provably put into “remission,” and if people with conditions that severe can change their personalities, anyone can.
You have to learn how you’ve been conditioned to think and feel the way you do, and get a lot of self-discipline re: stopping to notice your feelings, figure out why they’re arising, think through the consequences of acting on them, and choosing a better way.
I hate to use terms like this since they’re so often the territory of conspiracy nutjobs, but you’re basically deprogramming yourself. For example, a sensitive person who’s been exposed to a lot of bullying might have learned some pretty intense defensive reaction, so you’d have to stop every time you think “what did he mean by that?” and think of why that’s your first reaction, then choose to believe the best possible meaning even though your feelings scream at you not to. And you’d maybe keep a journal to remind yourself of all the times you were right to assume the best, since a defensive mind discards the positive and overemphasizes the negative.
This sort of thing is best accomplished with the aid of a mental health professional, but there are workbooks you can get if that’s out of cost/feasibility reach for you. You’d need to know your deal to know which ones to focus on.
If you didn’t change it willingly, you’ll be forced to change it when you have kids. I know for a fact that I’m not the person I was 10 years ago. Not even close.
