Hey, I have a moral question.

If my boyfriend (25yo) shows me a photo of him as a kid, and asks me “Was I cute?” What is the appropriate response?

Of course my boyfriend is so cute, but saying that him as a kid was cute is inappropriate? Just because he was like 12yo in that picture?

Where is the line here? I usually refuse to have opinions on kids appearances because usually I have none, and I don’t know if saying that a kid looks “cute” is creepy.

  • BowserDelta@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    51
    ·
    1 year ago

    Absolutely fine to say your partner was a cute kid. Nothing creepy at all.

    Saying something like “Got any nudes of you at that age?” Now that would be fucking creepy.

  • yenahmik@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    49
    ·
    1 year ago

    Cuteness has nothing to do with sexual attraction. Loads of things are cute. Kittens, puppies, red pandas, baby ducks are some examples of cute things. Basically anything that makes you go “aww” is cute.

    If he was asking if you thought he was hot as a kid, that would be weird and you would be right to feel like that is inappropriate.

    • PeepinGoodArgs@reddthat.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      Right, so…we’re not supposed to trying to seduce trash pandas or baby ducks?

      Just want to make sure before I do something I might regret.

    • adj16@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      14
      ·
      1 year ago

      I agree with your point, but the tone of your post strikes me as inappropriate for this particular community

        • adj16@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          Oh, no worries at all! Your post doesn’t strike me as malicious at all. Just seems like we should be especially concerned with making the OPs feel “stupid” here :)

          So it seems like you have 2 main points in your post (1 OP is overly worried, 2 sexual abuse is the real concern), so keeping both but with a more neutral tone:

          You should not be worried about saying that a kid looks cute. The real concern that you’re hinting at with behavior toward children is anything that connotes sexual abuse, and the comment “that is a cute kid” is very different from that.

          Or you could go for a positive tone:

          You have nothing to worry about! Saying a kid looks cute is very different from sexualizing them.

  • Chainweasel@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    1 year ago

    You might be overthinking it a little. I think kittens are cute, but that does not mean I want to fuck kittens. Cute ≠ sexual attraction.

  • applejacks@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    If someone says a kitten is cute, do you assume it means they’re sexually attracted to it?

  • AmidFuror@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    1 year ago

    Did anyone else read the title and think this was going to be about telling a little white lie because the bf was not a cute child?

    • AttackBunny@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Yeah…

      To OP, most kids look like some version of Elmer Fudd. My husband was a fat little shit as a baby/young child (he’s tall and skinny now). I poke fun at him for it, a lot. Just like he pokes fun at me for looking exactly like Monchichi as a young kid.

  • LemmyLefty@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    1 year ago

    Do you think kittens are cute?

    Do you want to fuck them?

    No?

    Then there’s nothing wrong with calling cute things cute because “cute” and “sexual” are not the same word or concept.

  • grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    1 year ago

    To me, the issue isn’t that you confirming he was cute is inappropriate. As others have stated, kittens are cute, babies are cute, etc, etc. What I find weird is why is he even asking? Why does he care about whether or not you think he was cute at that age? I’ve shown pics of myself to partners plenty of times and never have I asked them “Was I cute?” Why does he need this type of approval from you on a topic that’s irrelevant (he is no longer a child)?

    • vis4valentine@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I always remind him that he is cute, it was some playful question, he has a little bit of a goofy personality that I like a lot. He also does many random things. This was some random question, but I didn’t really know how to respond.

  • ThaijsClan@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    1 year ago

    I don’t think it’s any different from saying that your newborn is cute or someone’s toddler is a cute kid. It has nothing to do with sexual attraction to the child. Now, I don’t know if your BF is looking for sexual attraction to his younger self. I’d suggest asking probing questions as to the answer he’s looking for. Communication is key to any and all relationships

    • vis4valentine@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’m not, just my BF asked me the question while he was looking at his younger pictures, and I didn’t know what to say.

      • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝@feddit.uk
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        1 year ago

        OK, serious response then - you seem to be confusing sexual attraction with the adorability of children.

        As long as your reply isn’t “well I’d smash that!” then you should be fine. Acceptable answers include: “who knew that kid would grow up to be such a spicy meatball as your good self” and “you look adorable” and “I’m glad you outgrew those ears/teeth” (delete where applicable).

    • vis4valentine@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      I don’t think so, I don’t talk to children in general. Every interaction with children always feels like walking on eggshells so I just say Hi, and stick to common courtesy. I just don’t know how to talk to them.

      • HobbitFoot @thelemmy.club
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        And I think that this is the crux of the weirdness. It isn’t strange for people in general to say it, but it is for you. And that is fine.

        However, I can see that being hard to explain to someone.

  • Fubar91@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    Context matters if we’re talking about the nuances of the english language.

    Cute: Appealing in a pretty or endearing way. Cute: Sexually attractive.

    In the right context it’s a none issue to call a child cute in an endearing way. This is very common.

    If you say it meaning the second definition, you should be locked up in jail.

    Obviously in this scenario its fine, because you where asked incontext of an endearing manner (I hope), so the repsonse would also be in an endearing manner (i hope).